Tabu...Behind Closed Doors

A Wicked New Announcement!

2011-12-03T08:00:00.003-05:00

Hello, my darling friends and lovers!

Lately I've been incubating a delicious idea... and I think it's high time I let you in on the secret.

Introducing...

"Wicked Winter Nights"

This is the first time I've ever offered such a dramatic, seductive, incredibly sexy date... and I'm so very excited to imagine this amazing rendez-vous with you!

Picture this: Twelve sumptous hours to be filled with whatever delights please us both. When I knock slyly on your door, you're opening it to your lovely red-headed vixen... and almost endless possibilities.

Shall we start with a leisurely cocktail? I love to stain my lips red with Merlot. Slip your arm around my waist as we stroll toward a succulent dinner. Notice how the other couples glance enviously at us? We're so relaxed and happy. And little do they know what may follow!

You're feeling extra frisky? Me, too! Maybe this calls for that long-awaited visit to my favorite sexy haunt... that naughty club, Trapeze. It's "Adults Only" in this erotic playground built solely for lascivious fun. You want to do what? Oh, you're a bad, bad boy.

The night-life's legendary in Miami... and isn't it fun to add our own small contribution?

As the stars light our way, it's so easy to follow the passions that drew us together from the beginning. And so the night follows into morning... with the intimate knowledge of an evening spent in bliss.

I can't wait to share this very special encounter with you-- and see exactly how much pleasure it's possible to pour into an glass of us.

If this idea stirs something in you, too, I'm hoping you'll soon be whispering my favorite word ... yes.

Let's make it happen. Please give me 72 hours notice to prepare and talk about making a fabulous plan! The gift for this luxurious encounter, only $2900.

Making our winter nights as memorable as you and Tabu. It's in the stars.

Reach me by email at discovertabu@gmail.com or through my website, www.discovertabu.com.

I'll be waiting.

Giving Thanks? Don't mind if I do!

2011-11-24T11:00:00.002-05:00

Hello, dear friends and sexy dates,

On this special day, I feel grateful to be in the warm embrace of so many lovely friends.

May you all be happy, prosper and love the one you're with!

Tabu

P.S. Many thanks to my sexy friend Kayla, who hosted me and a naughty group of friends at her new Texas home. We love you!

Big Boobs, Daisy Dukes and the most fun in "Golly"wood!

2011-10-30T07:59:00.003-05:00

In the mood for a fun romp with a Texas-bred hottie?

So am I! (Do you know one? LOL)

For the next 8 days, I'm celebrating a spectacular month of sexual escapades. Want to join me before I take off on my last tour of the year?

Stroll over to my website, tickle my booking form and let's get together!

I'm already in a great position to play!

kisses,

your Hollywood Vixen,

Tabu

BUTTERCUPS AND GOLF BALLS

2011-06-13T09:21:00.001-05:00

Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups.Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life...Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life....As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!' Then POOF!... she was gone!

After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred, where are you?' Fred yells back 'I'm over here in the pussy willows.' Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred!' FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!'

Tanned, Smiling, Slim-- Happy Girl!

2011-05-27T12:53:00.002-05:00

Just took this pic, and it's easy to see that life is good!

Come see me between tours at home in Ft Lauderdale!

kisses,

me

New Year, New Tabu!

2011-01-06T07:07:00.005-05:00

I'm a newly slimmed-down sensation... and feeling sexier than ever.

So as the new year begins, I'm making the most of my time and talents.... and that means entertaining my special friends with true Tabu zeal.

Have you been needing a tender, intimate connection?

A fun and spirited romp?

A literate and fascinating companion for a night out?

Or are you interested in the adult fun at a seductive swing club?
My "Erotic Adventure" date opens the door to a world of sensual delights.

Then remember how much you've always wanted to consort with this delicious MILF... or get sexily re-acquainted.

I'm currently hosting in Hollywood and delivering delicious room service to Ft Lauderdale and Miami hotels... so let me engage you in pure pleasure.

Your naughty desires inspire me to greater heights every day.

awaiting your email,

Tabu

Chilly boys, head south!

2010-12-24T19:28:00.001-05:00

I've got a big kettle of sexy just for you!

Another free invitation card by Smilebox

Confessions of a Vixen!

2010-10-28T09:06:00.002-05:00

If you're already on my mailing list, then you just received my latest sexy entry, "Confessions of a Vixen."

If you're not, click the button on the upper right hand side of this page to opt-in.

Getting something sexy in the mail.... it's just a click away!

your vixen Tabu

Sweet satisfaction

2010-10-11T16:08:00.001-05:00

Visit me in Hollywood or let me visit you in your upscale hotel.

I'd love nothing more!

your sexy siren,

Tabu

Re-Kindling my first love!

2010-06-24T07:23:00.006-05:00

OK, I'm clearly not an "early adopter..." tech gadgets have to become tech commonplace before I latch on.

So when I finally got a Kindle last month, I didn't expect it to revolutionize my leisure time.

I love to be wrong.

From my first instant-purchase ("The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo") to some delightful meandering down the free pages of classics ("Fannie Hill," anyone?) I'm now inseparable from my portable library.

Old news? Maybe for some of you. But for this reader/writer and occasional daydreamer, stealing time for purely personal pleasure has never been so convenient... or so satisfying.

Coffee and my Kindle. Now there's a dream team!

Haulover Haiku

2010-04-27T06:08:00.002-05:00

After a visit to Florida's most famous nude beach...

Rare beauty
exposed
departs
well-done!

I've got life by the "tale!"

2010-04-21T09:49:00.004-05:00

My recent adventure to Detroit spun itself into a fairy tale... complete with White Knights, Evil Toads and happy endings.

Yes, there seems to be passion aplenty in Motor City... what else would account for the blissful hours spent in renewing delicious friendships... or the exploring new horizons... or NOT kissing the Toads who tried to send me home crying?

All's fair in love and escorting... but even so, I maintain that the good girl triumphs in the end... regardless of the obstacles thrown in her path.

So to my lovely benefactors, thank you. I will dream of you in happy colors.

In case you were wondering...

2010-03-24T12:47:00.000-05:00

Color me ready to play!!

2010-03-20T17:51:00.002-05:00

It's my BFF's 50th birthday tonight, so of course I have to wear my birthday suit to her party...

but in the meantime, I'm feeling very colorful.

So what's better than Tabu? Tabu times four!

Have a great weekend!

Wanted: A Good Catch

2010-02-20T10:28:00.010-05:00

Lately I've been seeing a lot of fishermen.

Fishing for attention, fishing for mischief, or simply fishing for fishing's sake-- these fellows have been dropping their lures in my mailbox for weeks now.

"Hey, Tabu, are you available Thursday night? I have great local references, can't wait to hear back from you!"

"Dear Tabu, I'm staying at the Four Seasons next week, could you make a 2-hour outcall to me there on Wednesday at 8?"

Or my website appointment form arrives, filled out to the smallest detail.

So what do these proposals all have in common? They're shiny, glittering, and lovely in the rough seas of a choppy economy. But they're empty hooks.

My gentle return tug ("How nice of you to write! I would love to meet you, please send along your references!") results in nothing but silence. Whatever might have been there is gone... or, perhaps, was never there at all.

They say that the best things in life are free. I guess that somewhere, someone is really having a ball.

Just let me know when the ship really comes in.

.

I've lost my head over the Saints!

2010-02-08T08:36:00.000-05:00

Go, Team! I'm so proud of you!

Fly Free on Air Tabu!

2010-02-05T06:45:00.003-05:00

It's hard to believe that in 2010, I'm celebrating my 5th fantastic year of doing what I love-- taking my intimate friends to new heights of pleasure and satisfaction. After all, the moments we spend together always seem to fly.

So as a special anniversary "thank you" to all of you who have given me such a rejuvenating escape from everyday life, I'm giving you the gift.

From Feb 3rd to Feb 17th, when you book 1 hour at my upscale Hollywood incall, I would like to give you 30 additional minutes FREE.

Come to me just as you are... needing the sweetest of girlfriends or the most urgent erotic conquest. We'll put our extra time to very good use.

Limited availability, so please book in advance of your desires. (And fasten your seat belts, boys. We're ready to take (it) off!)
__________________________________________________

How to book your flight on Air Tabu:

Pre-screened or current friends, simply email your request to discovertabu@gmail.com.
Members of major verification services, please email your request with your membership info.
All other new friends, please book through my website booking form.
Please note Air Tabu flight times!
Mon-Fri... 8-10am and 6-10pm
Sat/Sun... 9am-9pm
$350/1 hr + 30 minutes free

__________________________________________________

Don't be left on standby. I can't wait to take your stick.

your naughty and grateful vixen,

Tabu

You, Tabu and the sexiest swingers in S FL-- New Year's Eve at Trapeze!!

2009-12-28T14:39:00.004-05:00

If you've ever fantasized about a private entree into the sexy world of FL swingers.... with a sophisticated and oh-so-experienced vixen at your side....

then you'll never find a more spectacular opportunity than NEW YEAR'S EVE '09!!

Join me as my special date on this erotic evening of fine dining, dancing, and all the hedonistic pleasures you'd expect... in a luxurious and upscale club built exclusively for lascivious fun.

Our 4-hour date will begin at 9pm and include Trapeze's lavish NYE buffet, complete with Maine lobster and filet mignon. I will provide a fine libation suited to the evening, as we....

Embrace the vision of entrancingly sexy women, passionate men and an unforgettable atmosphere of sensual liberation.

Follow me to the erotic wonderland where inhibitions are shed as thoroughly as the clothes.... and from there, well.... it's up to our imagination what naughty delight comes first.

Let's make it an evening we'll never forget... it's there for the taking!

Essentials:

9pm-1am, New Year's Eve
Membership and $150 event fee, my compliments
Fine wine or libation of your choice, my compliments
Pickup and return to your hotel, if applicable, my compliments
Gift for Tabu's NYE Spectacular: $1600
Since this is a one-time opportunity, a 25% deposit is required by Wednesday, payable via GreenDot card.

Make it you, Tabu and the sexiest swingers around. This Thursday evening... a night you'll never forget.

Don't have a Cow-- Give a Heifer!

2009-12-19T09:27:00.001-05:00

I'm doing something really important this holiday season that all my intimate friends can help me with. I'm working to end hunger by raising money for Heifer International.

I'm counting on you to pitch in and help reach my goal. Any donation large or small will help us get there!

I chose Heifer International to help because they are a wonderful organization working to end hunger and poverty in the world. For more than six decades, Heifer has been helping poor
families around the world become self-reliant by providing animals and the training to care for them. Each recipient family promises to pass along offspring from their animal to another
family in need.

Heifer's simple but effective solution has helped more than seven million families -- 38 million people -- in more than 125 countries including the US, where more than 10 million people
are chronically hungry.

Thank you in advance for taking a moment to go online and help me help Heifer.

http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.204586/?msource=kw1844

"The dick doesn't lie," and other lessons from a life under the covers

2009-12-01T20:06:00.035-05:00

Chapter One: In dickus veritas

Laughter erupts around me.

"What did I say?" I protest, glancing at the semi-naked group of hedonists in my living room.

"Oh, come on," one of them snorts, "You know exactly what you said. Please."

"Yeah," his wife agrees. "The dick doesn't lie?"

"Well, it doesn't. If Mike there tells you he's not into blonds, then you see Blond Bambi sucking him off and he's hard as a fireplug... well, what do you call it? An oral misunderstanding?"

The dick doesn't lie.

Chapter Two: Verisimilitude

My girlfriend smiles conspiratorially over her husband's blissful face, his eyes closed to better focus on his pleasure. "Mmmmm," she purrs, "Doesn't she do that well?"

I wink at her as I slowly slide my tongue around the sensitive ridge of his joystick.

"Do it just like I like to," she urges me in a sultry contralto. "That's it, hurry up, swallow it all!"

For a moment his eyes open in surprise at her passionate appeal, and in a series of shuddering breaths, he surrenders to my surrogacy.

Sunlight streams through a slant in the window.

"Just like you like to do it," he whispers into the air.

Chapter Three: Unoriginal Sin

Placing one stiletto in front of the other, I take my time emerging from the darkened bedroom. His hands grip his knees as I approach, laughing.

"What's up?" I tease him, lightly stroking his pants with a long red fingernail.

"I was just thinking that you're not like any woman I've ever been with. But I can't really offer you anything you haven't already had. Probably."

At the last word he looks up at me hopefully.

"Well, you're partially right," I murmur, straddling his lap and slipping my hands into his hair. "I'm a completely, utterly wanton woman who absolutely insists on driving you crazy. And you're my completely, utterly delicious partner in crime, are you not?"

Among a flurry of insistent little kisses he manages to croak out "Yes."

"Then does either of us really have to be original?" I whisper into his ear, my nipples singing under the influence of his suddenly emboldened touch.

The world envelops us. The world falls away.

He doesn't have to say no.

Happy Halloween, Pumpkin!

2009-10-30T06:56:00.002-05:00

I'll be celebrating in the best way I know how... how about Boo?

kisses,

Tabu

It's Farewell....

2009-09-29T11:17:00.004-05:00

to the lovely incall where we've shared so many heart-pounding, blood-rushing and utterly delicious erotic times....

my landlady's in foreclosure. (sigh.)

So it's out with old, in with the new... and the new is just moments away from the old.

Thursday-Sunday will be MOVE-OUT, MOVE-IN, (and a few days sans incall) to turn a new locale into my Tabu-licious den of iniquity.

So let's make plans to initiate the new lair in the best way we know how!

(Just ask me for ideas!)

as always, grateful to be among your favored temporary girlfriends,

your S Florida vixen,

Tabu

Tabu's Tutorials: Grand Theft Cotton

2009-09-10T06:33:00.007-05:00

Into every life a hotel incall comes... and when it does, along comes the great towel dilemma. There are never enough.

Touring providers like yours truly and my leggy pal Allie, have come to regard even the best-stocked hotel bath with a jaundiced eye.

"Only 3 bath towels," she'll report from her lovely suite.

"Mine, too," I'll establish after a cursory examination.

"Where's the maid's cart?"

As stealthy as cat burglars, we creep down the hallway, looking this way and that for our personal Mecca: the unattended cart replete with stacks of fluffed and folded goodness.

Once secured, they're hoarded in a secret place known only to ladies who entertain the cleanest boys in "ho" business.

Last week in Charlotte, one genteel southerner amused me no end by quoting miscellaneous chapter and verse from this little vixen's blog. When our visit drew to an end, he excused himself to clean up. After the shower turned off, I heard his voice.

"I dried myself off with a hand towel, I hope that's all right," he called out to me from the bath.

"What?" I responded. "You didn't have to do that, I laid out a fresh bath towel for you!"

"Oh, no," he replied, sticking his head around the door to grin at me. "I wouldn't use your big towels. I want to be invited back!"

You gotta love a man with a plan.

Nice grits!

2009-09-01T08:38:00.002-05:00

Charlotte's been treating me VERY well, with one small exception (and you know who you are, dickwad)... so halfway through my little tour, I believe I will return.

In that case, I think I can say with no equivocation:

The South shall Rise Again!!

Hooker Haiku ;)

2009-08-09T15:05:00.003-05:00

Winging to Motown Wednesday....

sad auto workers

become Pep Boys.

Let this erotic treat take you to a poetic level of sensuous satisfaction...

Thur/Fri
Detroit Airport incall
350/hr... 550/90 min.. 700/2 hrs

Please book through my website.

I love to make you laugh. And moan. And smile all the way home.

Tabu's Tuesday Tutorial: Ins and Outs.

2009-07-07T06:50:00.004-05:00

All good things have a beginning, a middle and, equally important to your busy provider, an end.

The trouble is, not everyone seems to realize when it's time to go. Of course you're having fun, and in the post-nookie glow, time seems to stand still as pillow talk replaces the real world. We're enjoying it, too. But as the clock ticks silently past the hour, into ten minutes, 15 minutes, or in really distracted cases, 20 minutes, the push of Other Duties starts knocking on the door.

When it's time to answer, it's time to answer.

Your lovely temporary girlfriend, the skilled temptress who lulled you into such delicious lethargy, can also hint delicately when the curtain needs to fall... so when you hear "It's been so good to see you!"... please.

Rinse it off, tuck it in and fold your tent.

We will bless you as we watch your punctual back depart down the hallway. And we will welcome you back like a king when you return.

Now take that on the road.

As CNN goes, so go we all: The summer of our discontent

2009-06-29T17:37:00.010-05:00

No one can claim immunity from the solemn drums of this past week's news... every network anchor has puffed up endlessly with praise for the fallen. Even so, no feeling person could flip merrily through the channels without pausing to reflect, however briefly, 0n the merits of respect and mortality.

But my natural humanity has fallen out of sync with mourning.

As each life has been dispatched according t0 its owner's fame, something's gone missing.

I had no more personal connection than you did, I would guess, to these sadly fallen figures. But I wish for them a more private memorial than Larry King can provide. In the few quiet hours of introspection most of our lives afford, I would like to think that some of us could shed a real, unrehearsed and genuine tear for those we truly mourn.

And then not tell a soul.

Tabu's Tuesday Tutorial: When Mr Softie Strikes!

2009-06-23T07:05:00.005-05:00

Performance anxiety. Is there a more dreaded hazard for a hobbyist? If it hasn't happened to you yet, it probably will. Here's how it goes.

You're in the room with the girl of your dreams. You want everything to go perfectly. She's lying before you seductively, her moist lips open, the sweet essence of her secret folds starting to waft ever so subtly into your mind.... and just when everything should be at launch-readiness, the fuse fizzles. She's beckoning you, you glance down nervously to confirm that nothing -- absolutely nothing-- is ready for lift-off and the ensuing moments are the test of anyone's self-confidence and equanimity.

How you handle it can mean the difference between a disaster and a hiccup.

A smart fellow like you doesn't say a word to draw attention to your plight.

"Come here, beautiful," you say."Let me taste that delicacy for a while."

Soon you're losing yourself in the act of pleasing her. As your tongue teases out her creaminess, her moans begin to lengthen, the heat begins to rise.... and the next thing you know, you're feeling that welcome urgency that only the ownership of a hard cock can deliver.

Now it's up to you to take it where you will.

Well, now, class, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Oh, that's right..... it's very hard.

Now go in and play.

Winning hearts and minds

2009-06-12T07:38:00.002-05:00

is the start of winning happy repeat visits, I'm finding.

Lately I've had an unusual number of new friends who clearly crave validation for their desires... and for themselves.

Perhaps it's the turbulent times that's manhandling my new friends... and when they come to see me, I understand that words, a smile and a touch can fulfill one very basic need.

My time comes with many small pleasures... and one larger one. Acceptance.

Let's treat each other as if we count. Because we do.

This birthday girl needs to Blow!!

2009-06-01T12:58:00.000-05:00

OK, so today is my birthday, and I am so mad.

I had a tooth pulled on Friday afternoon, and the dentist ordered me not to suck ANYthing.

Now, how can I have a fun birthday with a swollen jaw and a big hole (so to speak!)?

I tell you, the gods are laughing today.

pitiful kisses,

Tabu

A tiny little tour to expand my tiny little mind....

2009-05-23T17:00:00.001-05:00

Ah, Cambridge, MA... home of MIT, Harvard, Radcliffe, and the dearly remembered and now departed ManRay, the oldest continually-running fetish club in the U.S.

When this Texas girl shook off her southern ways and transplanted herself to Boston, almost 20 years ago, it took a while to thaw the natives out. But once she warmed up the famously icy reserve of the New Englanders, life was interesting, cultured and freaky.

Now, does this 6-year Florida transplant still relish her parka-free winters? And does the home of the lobster roll still call her name?

Yes and yes.

So when I come to make a tiny little dent in the wallets and libidos of my fine Boston boys, think of it this way. I'm just getting a little bit of Boston back in my blood.

It's a fair exchange.

Cambridge, June 14-16.

The lure of eBay.... "Step away from the computer!"

2009-05-21T13:11:00.003-05:00

Damn. Lately I'm having real trouble resisting eBay.

It reminds me of the Borg. (Resistance is futile; you will be assimilated!)

The only thing is, if you succumbed to the Borg, at least you had a shot with Seven of Nine.

There's something to be said for that!

From the peanut gallery...

2009-05-18T13:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, "Teleplay@aol.com" was kind enough to email me the following career advice:

TABU???? MAN THE 80'S ARE GONE...

GO AND CHANGE YOUR HAIR DOOO
YOU ARE SO FUCKING UGLY...

I BETTER PAY 350 TO MY GRANDMOTHER...
RETIRE...GO HOME FUCK...SO PATHETIC

I don't know how I was lucky enough to merit his attention, much less the style and career how-to's.... but I hope his grandmother is happy to get $350!

rolling merrily along,

Tabu

Creamy, willing, thrilling redheaded MILF....

2009-05-08T10:10:00.011-05:00

Has your sexual curiosity been honed over years of exploration and practice? Mine has... and I still have so many avenues left to discover with you!

This Sunday-Wednesday... you'll find me downtown in an upscale Chicago hotel. And you'll always find me eager to entertain you like a re-discovered lover.

**RS2K and Date-Check members only**

Please send your info to my email for an appointment.

350/hr...550/90 min...700/2 hrs

You'll never forget Tabu.

What a delicious mind f-ck!

2009-04-19T15:06:00.010-05:00

My trip to DC set some delectable new standards in Tabu-licious clientele... some handsome specimens, to be sure, but more enticingly, some brainy/kinky/let me tickle your inner wildchild fellows that never fail to get me going. Yumm, yumm.

Now I have to remove my fingers from that moist little furnace and put them back on the keyboard... at least for as long as it takes me to type this.

Back as soon as I'm done.

Name change: District of Concubines!

2009-04-06T08:09:00.003-05:00

Wow, I've been really flattered by the response you love-starved hobbyists have been showing my upcoming tour with my new ta-tas.

I didn't know DC was wallowing in need... (in greed, perhaps!) so I'm thrilled to present myself as a sacrificial offering to the lusts of a very discerning constituency.

My friend Allie (she of the all-over tan and long legs) will be strutting her stuff with me, so those of you who appreciate a different look in a sexy MILF would do well to contact her. (check out her ad at http://www.eros-dc.com/files/mi-allie8-allie1.htm )

Just 8 more days before the arrival of the concubines!

Cunning Linquists on Parade!

2009-03-10T11:05:00.004-05:00

THE WASHINGTON POST ASKED READERS TO TAKE ANY WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY, ALTER IT BY ONE LETTER, AND SUPPLY A NEW DEFINITION. HERE ARE THE WINNERS:

(My favorites in blue)

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Belief that one will come back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11 . Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

My own contribution for today:

Reliculous. An individual overly-obsessed with his oral skills.

"My brains could kick her brains' butt."

2009-03-02T14:47:00.002-05:00

Except when she's an Ivy League brain! (Score one for Tabu!) Giggle.

Voicemail from a whore?

2009-02-18T11:08:00.015-05:00

Someone in Springfield, IL doesn't like me.

Yesterday afternoon, my Tabu phone rang, and as always, I waited for my phone-answering system to prompt the caller for his or her name. When the moment came, a female voice hissed "Dirty whore!"

My, oh, my. A phone call from Dirty Whore. What a very interesting name to bestow upon a daughter.

I let the call go to voicemail, and retrieved the message later in the evening-- very curious to hear what such a colorful caller had to say for herself.

"You look much older than you really are," she spitted. "Actually, you look like a transsexual."

Apparently she ran out of imagination at that point, because the line went dead.

Darling "Dirty," I'm truly sorry that you're upset with me-- for whatever reason. But if you're going to call names, get with the program.

I'm a naughty girl by nature. I'm a swinger by choice. And I'm a hooker with enthusiasm. There's hardly a name in the book I wouldn't answer to proudly.

If you were looking to shame me... well, I don't blush easily. So as one badly aging transsexual to another, let's make a deal.

I won't publish your phone number, which I now have saved.... and maybe you can think a bit more cogently before you let your fingers do the stalking.

OK. Gotta go.

Rule #1: Learn from the movies.

2009-02-09T11:59:00.026-05:00

OK, I know you're all thinking that I'm just super hot for those rough-riding Brits like Daniel Craig and Jason Stathan (pictured left), and of course, I plead guilty.

But what you may not know is just how much I model my existence on the fine examples these boys demonstrate for me every time I fast-forward, double-clutch and rewind.

So, with a special red-lipped kiss blown to Frank Martin, the cool-headed and fast-driving hero of the Transporter (1,2 and 3) movies... allow me to pass along the latest epiphany he delivered right to my door.

Rules are sexy.

"What??" you may ask, "Since when is letting other people tell you what to do... sexy?"

Who said anything about other people? I'm talking about the rules you create for yourself... the ones that let you forget about the world's expectations... and let you drive right to your goal.

In every Transporter film, Frank has to educate his ne'er-do-well clients that he operates by very strict rules... guidelines that allow him to navigate the sometimes treacherous curves that underlie his mission to deliver the goods. No one is allowed to break those rules... not even him.

Of course, the movies being what they are-- it's not till someone tweaks the rules that the action really gets started.

Lately I've been thinking that I wouldn't want to live with a such bad boy-- but there's definite pussy appeal in his passion to get the job done.

So what does all this have to do with your vixen Tabu? Or you?

Just one small wish from your big-titted bitch. That I'll soon be opening my door to even more of these complicated, sexy boys who know that the best games are played when everyone follows the rules. Because when fire in the belly meets cool-headed resolve, the results can rev any red-blooded girl's motors.

So if you like to play within- let's say "gentlemen's rules-" you'll find a very willing partner riding shotgun.

Wild, wicked, just-within-the-lines seduction. I've learned something from the movies.

Searching for that perfect new position?

2009-01-24T15:36:00.004-05:00

On newsstands now... let Tabu assist you in uncovering the skills you may be overlooking!

This issue, a steal at $350.

Remember-- there's always something big in even the smallest opportunity!

New Year, New Pics, New Website!

2009-01-16T08:33:00.002-05:00

What else is new? Hmmm. I still love being that naughty, Ivy League MILF... especially when I'm on my knees in front of a favorite boy, showing off my education!

Would you like a peek at my new home on the web? Check it out and let me know what you think!

www.discovertabu.com

If it gets you in the mood for a little guiltless pleasure... you know what to do.

purring,

Tabu

What's a little Dirty Laundry between Friends? (or, now THAT was a Party!)

2009-01-06T15:08:00.021-05:00

Just around Thanksgiving, the questions started to trickle in.

"You guys having a New Year's Eve party again this year?"

"Hey, hope you're doin' the New Year's thing again!"

"Don't forget to invite us!"

So bowing to the not-too-subtle urging of the sweet sixteen (the final number who crammed our play-space with perfumed bodies and cork-popping camaraderie), we anointed the linens, doused the lights, and stacked the playlist with come-hither tunes.

It was Noah's Ark with a spin. Everyone arrived neatly paired, but no-one stayed that way for long. In fact, we might have created some very interesting genetic variations, had someone thought to unravel the double helix of legs and twisted panties.

But priorities being what they were, your hostess (AKA the Vixen Tabu) simply poured fuel on the fire by circulating with bottles of bubbly and disentangling her stilettos when the going got tight.

Midnight came and went with kisses, then more kisses, then the rising heartbeat of newly-minted new year's resolutions... which all seemed to center on the very practical idea of spreading the love.

By now the ottoman was shoved off to the side and the carpet was hidden under a living tapestry of rhythmic movement. The king-size sheet spread under the melee shifted as knees and ankles took on a complex dance. Wet spots- gasp!- spread under trembling fingers, losing their grasp on the champagne flute or other intoxicating geysers....and when the evening turned to dawn, then to noon, even the hardiest of revelers were fighting sleep.

Off to their own beds the partyers trundled, and the sagging SO completed his hostly duty by tossing the sheets, towels and assorted damp playthings into the wash.

It was the next day when I had to giggle. Lifting the clean, damp linens from the washer, I caught a flutter of blue escape into the air; then another. As I bent over to stuff the heavy sheets into the dryer, I licked a finger and caught a fluttering square.

It was the cleanest, most pristine Durex wrapper this vixen has ever seen.

Now when you consider sexiness next to godliness, then sometimes cleanliness must take second place. But I think my laundry proved Woody Allen's famous contention: that sex isn't dirty unless you're doing it right.

Happy New Year.

Holiday treats for two-- me and you!

2008-12-07T10:44:00.010-05:00

Fredericks of Hollywood has me dreaming of a red, black and high-heel Christmas this year... so if you have the impulse to treat yourself to the vision of your little vixen in a sexy something...

a gift card to Frederick's would be a wonderful treat to find in my holiday stocking!

http://www.fredericks.com/giftCard2.asp?catalog_name=Holiday2002

Here's to sweet holiday dreams!

OK, you'll squeeze some ecology out of me now

2008-12-04T14:39:00.008-05:00

How can you get your O's and save the world-- simultaneously?

Well, you can't. (Unless you're Wonder Pussy. Hmmmm.. maybe that's my next Halloween idea!)

But now, you can help save the environment after you've wrung the last bit of sweaty pleasure from your favorite vibrator or butt plug.

Toy retailer Dreamscapes has just announced the country's first-ever sex toy recycling program.

"Just clean it first," the CEO David Kowalsky asks. Then mail it to Dreamscapes, who dismantles the said pleasure machine and reuses the parts for wholesome new products such as tires or playground mulch.

And with a nod toward "think globally, play locally" Dreamscapes will reward recyclers with a $10 coupon for future purchases.

Donating my butt plug to the greater human good. Now there's a cause I can get behind!

Good vibrations! (Or, what every girl needs....)

2008-11-30T17:10:00.010-05:00

I'll admit that every once in a while, a little vibration can do a body good.

And some girls I know (don't worry, darlings, I won't name names!) would give up their birthrights for a brand-new D battery and a Daniel Craig movie.

But things have gone too far when the beauty industry gets in on the act.

Just in time for Christmas, Lancome introduces Oscillation, the mascara with a vibrating wand (7000 oscillations a minute! as the ad breathlessly proclaims.)

For a mere $34, every girl on the block can give her eyelashes the ultimate thrill... something that clumsy Rabbit, Bullet or John Holmes replica meat-wand can never do.

So as a connoisseur of flirtatious eyelash-batting (how very old-school of me) AND an appreciative consumer of battery-operated boyfriends (in lieu of the real McCoy) I just might have to wheedle some kind stranger to drop an Oscillation in my Christmas stocking.

Will you be able to tell just who is vibrating her lashes to ultimate perfection... and who is settling for Maybelline?

Only by her satisfied sigh.

ilation

Blood on his hands

2008-11-18T20:52:00.004-05:00

After oozing wetness during "Casino Royale," the first reinvention of James Bond in 2006, your little vixen has been silently panting in anticipation of the latest appearance of Daniel Craig.

In the rather grim sequel, "Quantum of Solace," I managed to concentrate on the most appealing facets... the rough boy in fantastic motion, agile as a ninja, and the too few moments of pure will, where the Brit puts his famously icy eyes to breathtaking effect.

As others have already noted, this Bond is a visceral and passionate re-thinking of the tradition. And in this outing, he's driven and almost wordlessly reckless.

When vengeance replaces judgment, not every kill can be clean.

This modern anti-hero has duty in his heart and blood on his hands.

I can't wait to see where he takes us.

Tricks and treats...

2008-10-25T10:58:00.006-05:00

Dear Tabu:

Have you ever been caught in an embarrassing situation with a client?

Curious

Dear Curious:

What a coincidence that you would ask me that (ahem!) I was just reminiscing about one of the most ridiculous and memorable evenings I've spent as Tabu.

On a long-awaited overnight with a regular, my client showed up pale and holding his groin gingerly. When I asked what was wrong, he unzipped his pants to reveal a wad of bloody Kleenex in his briefs. He'd nicked himself shaving his balls, and the poor guy just wouldn't stop bleeding.

After the frenzy to find antiseptic, bandages, etc in my incall, we were both flustered and decided to go back to his hotel to get him into fresh underwear.

It wasn't until midnight, after a recuperative dinner and drinks, that we got ready for action... and realized that we had left the condoms and lube back at my incall.... 25 minutes away.

Bloody hell, as they say. But since we both had forgotten the vitals, there was plenty of blame to spread around. And we decided that spreading something else would be much more stress-relieving.

My southern suitor called every store in the neighborhood to find a 24-hour Walgreens... and then cabbed it over there and back to get us supplied.

It just goes to show, some nights you're tricked, some you're treated... and sometimes you miraculously achieve both. One thing's for sure: it beats real life!

North vs South: My bra is not a battleground!

2008-09-15T14:46:00.005-05:00

All my friends told me not to do it.

"Your boobs are perfect," they insisted, some of them attempting to prove their point by hefting one or both in their hands.

"See? They're just right!"

Well, as they say, there's nothing perfect in this world... even though for a long time, my 34D's have been damn close. But here's the question. Exactly when did I exhort them to "Go South, Tabu boobs?"

Lately I've been noticing a slight downward migration, as if my nipples missed my pussy and just wanted a closer relationship.

OK- that was it. Time for a tuneup.

September 9th took on the historic porportions of D-Day... or should I say Double D Day? Into the ritzy surgical suite of the Playmates and Maxim model's favorite breast man in upscale Aventura... and out 3 hours later under the tender loving care of my gal-pal Allie.

Skipping the painful details, almost a week later we arrive at Sunday brunch in the Aventura mall-- and a visit to the ooh-la-la confines of a select European lingerie shop. This little nook specializes in big boobs... and the salesgirl eyed my torso appraisingly.

"Hmm," she mused, "You have a small back compared to your volume in front.... I think, yes, let's try this."

Without a peep I let her jostle my now-engorged breasts into what appeared to be a cup size large enough for Queen Latifah. She pushed, I pulled, and when we both straightened up, my boobs were encased in absolute perfection.

"Umm," I hesitated to ask,"Just what size is this?"

"Oh," she relied cheerfully, "You're a 34-F."

Wow. Well, after I forked over what would buy two people a very nice dinner out, I left with my 34-F everyday bra in an extremely elegant shopping bag.

And I can now see that the price of this little enhancement is going to go far beyond the surgeon, the meds or even the new photos I will certainly need to take.

Half of my wardrobe will have to be donated to my normal-sized friends--that is, anyone a D-cup or less. And your visibly-bigger vixen will become a very good customer of the big-boob emporium.

So my new job, apparently, is to have new ta-ta's... and try to get used to the "massive expanse" as my SO calls it, living on the front of my chest.

I guess there are worse fates. And whistlin' Dixie is one of them.

Slam, Bam (Where's the "Thank you, M'am"?)

2008-09-06T07:24:00.009-05:00

You all know that I love a good, hard slamming every once in a while. (I mean, sometimes a girl needs to feel a little fire in the belly!)

So when I was awakened Thursday night around 2 by a loud thud that resonated through my condo, I thought maybe the couple next door was getting their groove on. I peered around groggily, and when nothing seemed out of place in my immediate sphere, I drifted back to Sleepyville.

And so my morning unrolled merrily-- coffee, workout, breakfast, and out to the car to head to Ft. Lauderdale.

Uh-oh. What were all the glass shards, plastic and shattered fiberglass behind my car? And why was it jettisoned three feet from where I'd parked it the night before?

Yes, dear ones, you have all guessed it.... my poor baby was a victim of a hit and run, back-end smashing worthy of the Pats' defensive line.

Damn, damn, damn.

Later that night it was still sitting askew when I ran into my irreverent gay neighbor on the street.

"Oh, boy, I saw your car this morning, sweetie," he exclaimed, patting me on the shoulder. "I knew you were going to be so PISSED. I went right back upstairs and told Zach that your car took it up the ass!"

"It sure f--king did," I replied, "But man-- no drinks, no dinner and no lube!"

So now, if you'll excuse me, I'm on my way to Allstate to see just how much they're going to f--k me. I can guarantee you it won't be a screaming O.

O well.

MILFs on the rise in DC... doubles, anyone?

2008-09-03T07:59:00.003-05:00

And this is the woman who promotes abstinence?

Ohhh--kayyy.

Somehow I got a different impression.

I don't agree with you, Toots, but I defend your right to wear a short skirt!

How Not to give a BJ.....

2008-08-20T07:42:00.002-05:00

My friend Sinthia of Chicago posted this link on TER, and I had to pass it along to you...

Don't try this at home!

http://jhorna.wordpress.com/2008/04/14/college-humor-derrick-comedys-blowjob/

238, 239, 240...I'm the queen of the world!!

2008-08-03T13:16:00.011-05:00

Last week, a curious Fl hobbyist did a little number crunching on The Erotic Review (see my blog http://discovertabu.blogspot.com/2007/10/playing-numbers.html here if you don't already know about TER) and the results made me squeal like a little girl.

Like a little girl? you ask. Why yes, and it's very odd, considering I was one of the (ahem) most mature ladies in the rankings.

ANYWAY, this fellow had the site rank all the TER ladies who have at least five reviews. That gave him a total of 5,935 ladies nationwide.

He then had TER rank these ladies in order of their performance ratings.

Out of almost 6,000 providers in the US, your little MILF was ranked #240 with a performance average of 8.98 (out of a possible 10.)

So I guess all that practice in the swing club and Tabu's lair has finally paid off!

Just today, I had a lovely appointment with a charming gent who entered the hobby almost exactly a year ago. In the meantime, he's embraced the TER ethos, learning to analyze reviews, pick the top ladies and get his mojo working in the best possible way. He found me through that sweet maze of rankings... and I couldn't be happier that he did.

So here's to clawing (I mean meowing) my way to the top 5%. It's great to be recognized... and even better to know I still have room to improve.

If you're on my"to-do" list, you may be in for a wild ride. Because your little missy will be working on gaining the top 4% now.... and there's ony one way to make it happen. You'll be the judge!

Larry, Moe and Curly in Motown

2008-08-01T15:55:00.009-05:00

This week's episode: The three Stooges tackle Tabu.

(As our story unfolds, Tabu visits Detroit in search of f__ks and fortune. During her stay, she encounters our famous trio.)

Last-Minute Larry calls on the final afternoon of her tour, demanding that she jettison her previously-scheduled programming to accommodate his sudden need of her company. When Tabu politely refuses to trash her regular, Larry pouts and hangs up.

No-Info Moe takes the opposite tack, repeatedly writing to Tabu several weeks ahead of her visit, stating his desire to make an appointment. When requested to provide basic screening information, he responds very expeditiously-- with a fictitious name and cell number.

Squirrelly Curly enjoys making an advance appointment and then canceling, pleading a last-minute work commitment. He ever-so-gratefully accepts Tabu's offer of a new time... and then ever-so-conveniently forgets to show up.

Next week: Tabu wakes up from a bad dream to find that no one actually shot J.R.

View from above... Curvy girls rule!!

2008-07-29T09:01:00.005-05:00

Sometimes it pays to be left behind... when you get a view like this one, from last week's sextravaganza in Port Charlotte.

Four hot couples, eight naughty minds... well, you can do the math.

When this little Tabu picture showed up in the mix, all unanimously declared it a "must-publish--" so, I bend to the wishes of my clan.

Enjoy!

Perception, Reality and the Value of Pretty Boobs

2008-07-24T06:48:00.004-05:00

Last month on tour....

Client, fondling my augmented girls: "Wow, Mother Nature really blessed you."

Me: "Yes... with enough money to afford a really good plastic surgeon!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last week at my incall...

Client, fondling my augmented girls: "Your tits are really great. I HATE fake tits."

Me: "Oh, me too!" (giggle)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour fondling Tabu's tits... $---. Living with Tabu's tits 24/7.... priceless!

My sizzling Swing Club dates just got better!!

2008-07-07T08:59:00.005-05:00

Wow. If there was anything that could have improved my now-notorious swing club dates, it was the comfortable but rather dated surroundings of my favorite club. Has that ever changed!

On Saturday night, I joined a gaggle of my sexiest friends to discover the ALL-NEW, COME-HITHER, SEXY, COOL, SOPHISTICATED and LUXURIOUS club. Our joint has been building a brand-new club for the past year, and they proudly unveiled the results last week.

Who wouldn't like this upscale and sleek new design? On Saturday, the hottest happenings were showcased in the best-looking club in South Florida.

So from now on, my adventurous and sexy dates who join me on any Wed, Thur, Fri or Sun night will find that what was sizzling before is now even hotter!

If you're unclear on how the swing date works, click through on this link for the details... then just drop me a note at discovertabu@gmail.com to arrange our escape into pleasure.

It's not often that the best gets even better!

http://discovertabu.blogspot.com/2008/03/swing-into-spring-sexy-new-addition-to.html

I'd love to be your guide!

Having a happy life

2008-07-01T07:28:00.005-05:00

Look at that smile... think I'm having a good time?

Lately I've been thinking about what makes me happy... and it's clear that my friends are a huge part of the happy life I lead.

On my birthday last month, this girl was treated to laughs, gifts, sweetness and sexiness... and the price of happiness was quite nicely within reach.

Just thought I'd share.

The Love Guru.... Hmmph!

2008-06-16T07:34:00.007-05:00

No, I haven't seen a sneak preview... but I do think I might have to get my bulldog of a lawyer onto Mike Myers.... After all, the man boldly stole what should have been my own legacy. Tabu, the Love Guru. Has a certain ring to it, don't you think?

Last week I entertained some new friends and I have to tell you.... I'm relishing my enviable life. What could be better or more satisfying? I get to indulge in one of my favorite pasttimes, to watch my befuddled friends stagger off with a huge smile on their mugs, and pay the rent in a manner my landlady would never suspect.

Life is good, as they say. And after I spank that naughty Mike for stealing my thunder, I'll be the one smiling... even wider than usual. Now if only I could get a percentage!

Playing doctor in Cleveland!

2008-06-06T15:40:00.006-05:00

"Oh, yes, Doctor, of course I'll open my mouth so you can check my tonsils... with your cock!"

In one of those funny coincidences that could only happen in my hotel room, on Wednesday I was treated to an entire series of medical exams by some of the ablest physicians in Ohio (home to the famous Cleveland Clinic, of course.) So after this modest little patient made sure she was wearing clean panties, it was clear that she needed to be diagnosed... and thus it was time for me to:

stick out my tongue

breathe rapidly

have my breasts checked for abnormalities

and put my feet in the stirrups of someone's shoulders.

My, oh my. I've never undergone such a rigorous series of exams.. all so very thorough.

And it was funny, when you think about it... after all that, I was the one who got the results!

Last 2 days to pre-book for Cleveland!

2008-05-30T09:00:00.005-05:00

I love touring in the summer. As the days heat up, so does my libido... and it doesn't take much to get my nipples just as hard as they are in this pic from last week.

What am I thinking about, with my girls pointing straight up and the rest of me in a creamy froth?

That it's only fair that I stop teasing you... and show you in person.

Then we can see what part of you points straight up.

If you're thinking about taking a chance on this MILF extraordinaire, but wondering exactly what you're in for, let me assure you. More than you bargained for. For some happy survivors' accounts, check out my TER reviews through this link. http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/show.asp?id=52506

I'm looking forward to meeting some of the best and sexiest new friends I've ever had. Don't be left out of the list!

Go to my website now to shoot off your appointment form. I can't wait to heat things up.

Two holes are bettter than one!

2008-05-28T07:52:00.003-05:00

Last night I got to indulge in one of my favorite treats... and share it with a fascinated onlooker.

When I oh-so-carefully spread my naughty girlfriend's legs... then plunged into her with my big, black strap-on, there were three gasps heard in the room: hers, mine and our titillated client.

Ah, the joys of being a girl with a cock. After I taught her how to behave properly-- and she needed a lesson!-- I relinquished the helm to her own eager hips. That bad girl wanted some of her own... and for poor little me, that was just the start of a very "fulfilling" evening.

Sometimes I feel like the star in my very own porn movie. Here's to Take Two!

Happy Memorial "Lay!"

2008-05-23T07:25:00.002-05:00

My wish for you: that you may you be "lay"d sweetly, vigorously, slowly, sensually or however you like it best.... and that you make the most of the three "lay" weekend!

I know I will!

hugs to all my friends and partners in crime!

P.S. and don't worry, Cleveland-- I'm saving some strength for you!!

Good cop/bad cop... mmmmm. What a choice.

2008-05-17T10:43:00.009-05:00

As much as I love the donuts, I have to admit that there's one part of my job I love even more....

and that's cuffing those miscreant boys that think they can bribe me into slipping out of my uniform.

Why, just last week, a would-be gangsta shouldered his way into this innocent officer's hotel room in Detroit. And before I could give him any well-intentioned warnings, he slapped down a envelope and looked at me defiantly.

"Well?" he demanded. "What do you have on under that robe for me?"

"Excuse me, sir," I began, "You may want to wait just a minute before you start asking me questions. There's something about me that you really need to know."

"I don't think so, Miss Hottie," he replied, reaching for the tie of my silky robe. "I want to see what I'm buying."

"Well, all right," I conceded, stepping away from his hands. "If you really want to see what you're getting, I hope you like silver and black."

I dropped the silky panels to the floor.... and watched his face go pale as I was revealed in full police uniform.

"You're under arrest, Mr. Hottie," I sighed. "I tried to warn you."

"Uh, wait a minute," he stammered. "There's been a mistake. I didn't know you were a cop!"

I had to giggle at his weak protestation. "Of course you didn't, sweetie-- but now you know, and now you're going downtown."

His face crumpled and his shoulders sagged in defeat. "Isn't there any way we can work this out? I can't let this happen! I'll be ruined."

I felt a brief moment of pity. He did look sincere... and I had been on a lonely stakeout for almost a week. Maybe instead of going downtown, he could just go down. Yeah, that was an idea.

An hour later, still breathing hard, I realized there's a reason I'll never make Sergent. But then again, sometimes rank is over-rated. Just like making collars.

Humanitarian Aid... and then some!

2008-05-12T12:26:00.002-05:00

On Friday afernoon I returned from 5 days away on tour. Naturally, my love-starved SO was eager to enjoy a prolonged tryst with me.

In the afterglow he hugged me and joked, "I should get a humanitarian award for sharing your fabulous p---sy with the world."

"Why, yes, you should, darling," I agreed. "And I even know which one it shoud be. The Nobel 'Piece' Prize!"

It's good to be queen!

Florida-bound tomorrow! (no, that's not a new fetish!)

2008-05-08T06:51:00.003-05:00

Detroit has been treating me like a queen, but even the nicest reigns have to come to an end.... (hopefully, I'll still have my head when it's over!)

What lovely gentlemen I've always found here. Engineers, auto industry folks, the occasional doctor, lawyer and college prof.... the tenor of their visits is always sweet and appreciative.

I appreciate you, too, boys! And while I'm a tad homesick right now, I'll be back again this summer for a visit with my "gentlemen in waiting"-- and I'll bring the cake!

Putting the "ho" in hotel! An etiquette reminder from "Dear Tabu."

2008-05-01T06:12:00.018-05:00

Dear Tabu:

Q. How I can ensure the discretion and safety of my favorite escort when she's visiting my town on tour? (OK, so no one really asked this. Go with me here!)

A. Thank you for the excellent question, Hobbyist! Part of your responsibility as a good client is to visit your escort as discreetly as possible. Any behavior, intentional or not, that draws negative attention to her may result in trouble for both of you. Here are some examples of what TO DO.

Call for her room number from the parking lot, not the lobby. Then when you arrive, you can stride purposefully right to the elevator and go up. The longer you linger in the lobby, looking lost, the more the desk clerk is likely to wonder.
Arrive with a briefcase, file folder or other business-related item in hand.
Make your arrival call on time. Not 15 minutes early, when your lady is likely in the shower, brushing her teeth, or struggling to attach her garters.
Knock quietly on her door and enter without exclaiming loudly "Wow! You're even hotter than your pictures!" (We love that, but save it for when the door is closed.)
Lay your gift envelope down in clear view without further comment. We know what it is.

And now, from the "Oh My God" file, a few reminders of what NOT to do. (We'll use someone named "Miss X" as the example case.)

Do not arrive with a big bouquet of flowers as if you're headed for the prom. Not only will everyone stare at you in the lobby, but your lady will have no place to put them in her room. Then disposing of said flowers gracefully... not easily done without the maids wondering about "businesswoman" Miss X in Room 617.
Enjoy your time with your lady, but do not try to wring every last second out of your appointment. Wind down your activities so you can shower and dress and still be out the door when your alloted time has elapsed. Your lady will appreciate your respect for her schedule-- and it will give her time to re-attach her garters.
Speaking of showers-- Miss X is probably stealing towels off the maid's cart to keep herself and her guests stocked without having to ask for extras... so don't assume she has an infinite number on hand. One should do the trick, unless you're Andre the Giant.
Say your farewells inside the room, not as you're walking into the hallway. Miss X actually had an enthusiastic client exclaim as she was closing the door, "That was the best b--- j-- I've ever had!"

Keeping a low profile keeps everyone safe and satisfied. So when you're eagerly anticipating the happy return of Miss X to your city, make it easy for her to say Yes!

Now back to your regularly-scheduled programming!

My Close Encounter of the Ron Jeremy kind

2008-04-22T07:41:00.009-05:00

Four years ago, when becoming an escort was barely a naughty thought in my mind, I met Ron Jeremy one busy Saturday night at the local swing club.

We sat side-by-side for two hours in the back room, chatting about all kinds of things... I purposely didn't ask him about his film career, figuring that he gets those "fan" questions all the time.

Even though our conversation was interrupted by a steady stream of swingers seeking autographs, which he graciously signed, he always re-focused immediately on our intimate chat.

Eventually, it was hard not to notice the effect my bare breasts were having on the porn king. And so I was inspired to check out his legendary equipment with my mouth. (and yes, it's quite a mouthful!)

Afterwards, the happy actor asked me if I'd ever considered getting into the adult industry.

"Here's my personal email address," he offered, scribbling it on the back of a business card. "If you're interested in doing something, I can definitely introduce you to the right people."

Soon it was time to go, and we said affectionate goodbyes and I hugged his furry chest.

"Seriously, I want you to get in touch with me after I get back to LA. I think you're a natural," he insisted.

Well, as you all know, I didn't go into movies, preferring the more discreet and personal avenue of being an escort.

But the accomplished and charming Ron did give me a nudge in the Tabu direction... and that was one of the best bits of career advice I've ever received.

So if you're the pleased recipient of a bit of oral inspiration from yours truly, you can give the king a nod of acknowledgement.

I know I do.

Becoming a Star at the Starlite Motel!

2008-04-16T10:47:00.004-05:00

I've had a number of offers to be in movies of the MILF-Hunter type, and I've always declined that fabulous PR opportunity.... but yesterday I discovered that I could be a star in a real documentary. (You know, the kind where they explore some obscure subject matter.) Here is part of the letter.

Hello Tabu,

I was impressed by your blog, and wonder if you would grant me an interview for a documentary film I am making. My documentary is called Love at the Starlite Motel.

By way of introduction, would you visit my web site, www.inigofilms.com?

My big questions are, what is the role that motels play in the culture? Why are they taboo? What is the taboo around motels protecting? I once heard the Catholic ethicist Margaret Somerville say that the strongest taboos protect the most sacred things. Not surprisingly, she wasn't talking about sex. However, I find the idea useful. Who better to ask than a woman named Tabu.

Have you ever had an encounter at the Starlite Motel?

The interview crew would consist of a very experienced cinematographer and me, and I would prefer to conduct the interview in one of the Starlite Motel on 8th St. in Miami. These motels are clean, and quite safe. I have stayed in them for between a week and a month at a time.

If you would like to speak to a reference, I can offer you a previous documentary subject, a colleague or my co-producer at the NFB. To compensate you, I would make a donation for your time, or make a donation to your favorite charity.

Hmmm. Interesting idea, but for once, I have little to say on the subject. I'm not a motel type of girl, and find the subject evocative only in the abstract. So I had to decline this kind invitation.

However, if anyone else has fond memories of the Starlite, their website encourages you to write them and volunteer to be in the film.

So much for the No-tell Motel!

Changing your plans makes life interesting!

2008-04-15T07:40:00.004-05:00

Ah well, Chicago is going to have to enjoy my girlfriend without me this time; due to an unexpected development, I've had to cancel my trip.

I will definitely plan on re-scheduling a little later this spring/summer.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to a delectable visit with some of my Motor City favorites!

Detroit, watch out for the Tabu Express!

Road Trip!! Well, plane trip. (Who cares? We're going to Chicago!)

2008-04-07T15:26:00.015-05:00

Ah, spring. The dogwoods bloom, the spring breakers break and in Tabu-land, the snowbirds take flight.

It was wonderful, they say, as they wave from their SUVs, heading back to New York and Minnesota. We'll see you next year!

And as we wipe our tearful eyes, everyone in Florida waves sadly till they're over the horizon of I-95.

Then, we all make a rush for our favorite restaurants and bars, now blissfully tourist-free.

Thank God for those fat-cat snowbirds, for without them our coffers would be lighter. But thank God when they leave, and local life takes back its lazier, sun-dappled pace.

For me-- and my girl Allie, who positively itches with wanderlust, spring's the overture to our own journeys.... and with nothing but stilettos in our suitcases, there's only one thing that could be on our minds.

Foot-long hot dogs. After all, isn't that Chicago is famous for? Oh, wait, that's Coney Island. (I always get those two mixed up!)

No, we adore Chicago with a passion worthy of grand opera. Get us up on Michigan Ave-- ensconced in the silky linens of a 4-star hotel-- waiting breathlessly for our darling midwestern suitors to arrive.... well, life just doesn't get much sweeter.

Seasons always resume their rituals, no matter who's watching. And when we see our calendars inching toward April, we can hardly wait to take it all in.

So if you see two Florida flamingos-- one sun-kissed, one ivory-- positively glowing with genuine delight, please don't hesitate to welcome us "home."

Hollywood will wait.

AWOL for a friend; back to Tabu.

2008-04-03T06:34:00.007-05:00

This weekend I had to say a permanent goodbye.

My friend John, a smart, lovable and funny 50-year-old, slipped away into a quiet place after a devastating fight with cancer.

During that fight, his wife, my equally admirable girlfriend, showed me what courage really is. A feisty ex-New Yorker, she never backed down from the challenge of dealing with every aspect of their everyday life; when John quickly became too weak to function, she emerged as even more than she imagined she could be.

Not that I'm painting her as a saint. Plenty of days I got my daily call that started with exasperation; nothing was simple in their last journey together except their love for each other.

And now, that love continues and changes.

Hellos and goodbyes, mourning and rejoicing. There's no getting around that eternal balance.

I love both my friends, and now I'm going to get to show one of them just how much. When life feels diminished by absence, the presence of our friends and family helps fill the abyss.

And for me, re-embracing my inner Tabu is my way of celebrating the continuation of beauty, sensuality and life.

John wouldn't have had it any other way.

Grazie! (I think!)

2008-03-26T08:30:00.006-05:00

Today's nomination for International Email of the week: (reproduced verbatim).

if one day you are around the europe what do you think about a good weekend in Italy? i am a beautiful mature man,Luke, of 40 years, lend, equipped, also of savoir-faire and free discretion from engagements, I try one intelligent mrs. that desires one educated and lose interested company. I can accommodate and travel. if it tries what I can offer to you,contact me. I guarantee ospitality, respect and absolutely discretion. I can accommodate you in Lignano Sabbiadoro, or offer to you a timid one week-end to Venice.

i need a photo to remember of you..

Here's an incipient hobbyist in one of the sexiest countries on earth, and he's taking a cyber-stroll down Tabu Lane.

Darling, I'm flattered. But if your pasta isn't better than your English, I'll have to stick with La Dolce Vita here in Florida.

Ciao!

No rest for the wicked?

2008-03-23T08:25:00.004-05:00

One of my favorite clients wrote me Friday with a question:

And what will this naughty girl be doing for Easter? How do swingers celebrate Spring-- by getting sprung?

Well, he's a hoot and it was with actual sadness I had to relate that-- once in a rare while-- even this Energizer Bunny has to snuggle up with her eggs and snooze.

After three weekends of marathon eroticism, it's mandatory to re-charge the batteries and come out swinging, as they say.

So it's off to la-la land, nappyville, dream city.... and then back to the exhausting job of being fabulous.

See you on Monday!!

Two for Two! Swing Dates Sizzle!

2008-03-15T08:37:00.010-05:00

I have one word for the past 2 Friday nights. Yumm-eeee.

Thanks to the two lovely gentlemen who couldn't wait to raise their "hands" for my new swing club rendez-vous, your little vixen got to show off her favorite club, its sizzling citizens and the naughty-and-nice atmosphere that gets everyone rocking.

In fact, I feel a bit like an evangelist lately-- "Come to me, brothers, and let me show you the way!"

Fortunately, my impulse toward religion stops there... unless you count my recent fantasy fulfillment for one wicked little girlfriend of mine. That evil girl wanted me to tell her all about the bad Catholic schoolgirl at confession. Oh, my-- she was sooo bad that the priest had to come right into her side of the confessional and show her the errors of her ways... sin by sin.

Oh, the depths I'll explore for the sake of some curvy-girl nookie.

But then again, maybe that talent for erotic imagination is what has made me so many delicious friends.

Where the mind can go, the cock and pussy can follow. Just ask the two boys who squired me through the halls of iniquity. They imagined what could happen when you get 300 hot swingers together -- mixed thoroughly with a healthy dose of Tabu-- and the reality of it all.... well, I think it surpassed their wildest wet dreams.

So here I go again today, powdering, silkening, and fine-tuning that sexy spot between my ears for another erotic adventure in Paradise.

Heaven's got nothing better.

Here we go again...

2008-03-12T07:50:00.003-05:00

Almost exactly a year ago today, I published the blog I'm reproducing below. Ring a bell?

So please-- don't come to me asking for less screening due to the Spitzer case. I'm not buying into the hysteria, and neither should you. So, from March 28, 2007....

Don't call me Madam! (or, Paranoia Abounds!)

Yesterday I saw one of my regular, mild-mannered fetish clients. All was great until after our session, when he rather nervously asked me if Iwould "remove all traces" of him from my email, cellphone, paper calendar and Rosetta Stone, and never contact him again.

I was a bit stunned and when I asked where this sudden directive came from, he cited the "DC Madam," who was arrested recently for running a high-profile,15-girl prostitution ring for a total of 13 years. The madam in question briefly floated the idea of selling her "43 lbs" of detailed client records (!) to the highest bidder. A federal judge quickly derailed the idea.

My nervous client, neither well-known nor likely to be, envisioned himself the unhappy recipient of media glare if I was ever taken away in cuffs.

Let me tell you what I told him (after assuring him that his very existence would be forever eradicated from my consciousness.)

Women who run large-scale prostitution rings with celebrities and elected officials as clients naturally attract attention from law enforcement and the IRS. Millions of dollars of undeclared income... famous names... and a revolving door of indiscreet "employees" create a target worthy of pursuit and prosecution.

On the other hand.... low-key, tax-paying, individual providers operating out of a single discreet location- no fanfare, no employees, no racketeering-- simply aren't worth the government's attention, time or money.

The DC Madam is facing a host of serious charges which range from pandering to tax evasion, money laundering and more. She's in deep shit.

I, however, am no Madam. And if, to my misfortune, a local vice cop slips through my screening someday and takes me downtown, I'll pay my misdemeanor fine and go home. It won't be fun, but it certainly won't be front page news.

With rising gas prices, hurricane season and new episodes of America's Next Top Model on the horizon, we all have much weightier issues to worry about. So let's get on with the show.

"Swing" into Spring! A sexy new addition to the menu!

2008-03-06T10:51:00.004-05:00

If you've ever been intrigued by the sexy, secret world of swinging-- but didn't have the entree or a willing partner to try it out-- well, I have a very important announcement just for you.

Starting now, I'm your guide to a very satisfying Swing into Spring!

Take advantage of my 10-year experience in this lifestyle and get a first-hand understanding of:

How to "play well with others" (the etiquette and protocols that all swingers share)

How to approach a potential playmate

When it's time to go from flirting to f--king

Why women rule this world and how to win them over

I've had some of the sexiest times in my life at a swing club and it's time you did, too!

Here's how it works. Like a dinner date, a swing date is 4 hours, during which we will enjoy the club's excellent dinner, dancing, flirting and whatever naughtiness we can stir up.

If you're visiting from out of town, I will pick you up at your hotel and your only financial responsibility is my gift and the door fee at the club. (I will supply the membership requirement.) Since all FL swing clubs are BYOB, you choose whether to bring your own alcohol.

So whether you dream of jumping in, watching and learning, or a happy mix of both, you can relax knowing you're in the very experienced hands of a true aficionado.

Before I was Tabu, I was a swinger. Come discover the sensual atmosphere, freedom and fun that helped turn a bad girl into a verrrry bad girl! (And as you know-- very bad is verrry good!)

Sit. Stay. Roll onto me. I learned everything I know about sex from my dog.

2008-03-03T16:17:00.019-05:00

As I was stroking my best friend's ears Saturday night,(and yes, my dog was there, too) it struck me how similarly I'd trained both.

My dog waits impatiently as he watches me dabble in debauchery. "Get on with it," his eyes say, as I'm rolling in a tangled mess of sheets, arms and hard breathing. When the bed surface calms to a gentle rocking, he'll launch himself into the middle, hoping for a clear spot to land.

My two (or sometimes three-legged) friends- well, they've perfected the exaggerated eyeroll in lieu of puppy dog eyes. They look around, and when I'm discovered in flagrante delicto, they heave a histrionic sigh and announce, "Well, she's as good as gone for a while." Being human apparently means that they know better than to jump into a mess.

On the other hand, humping a pillow clearly transcends man-animal boundaries.

When I was a yearning little girl, my pillow could be smoothed into the broad shoulders of my heartthrob. And if a little pelvic thrust came into play at a pivotal fantasy moment, well, who would be the wiser? The Dog-King, possessed of a fleeting hormonal urge, frankly hops into position and wildly humps for 20 or 30 seconds... eventually becoming distracted by a passing siren or Shiz-tzu.

It appears we have more in common than not. And so when I observed a pack of well-heeled homo sapiens indulging in that most animalistic of pleasures in my living room Saturday night, I simply had to hand it to those naughty dawgs.

But it was one at time, buster-- one at a time.

The Doctor is in! Please take off your pants...

2008-02-29T08:27:00.004-05:00

Today, a gent asked the following:

Curious what the best way to catch a lady's attention is in sending emails... I always have been curious and would love to know how many emails you ladies receive in say a day. I don't want to be passed over or trashed!! What should the subject of the email be to catch your attention to read further and hopefully lead to your reply and then some?

Dr. Tabu replies:

Don't be cute. If you put in your subject line:

I'm your stud-muffin, Tabu!!

I'm going to think you're crackers or a 15-year-old boy.

However, if you put:

Possibility of appointment March 3 at 8pm?

I'll open YOURS first! (Then maybe I'll open mine!)

____________________________________________________

Successful providers' mailboxes are afloat every day with:

"Wishful thinking" emails (When will you be touring to Sitka, Alaska?)

"Maybe her IQ's dropped" emails (You don't know me but I'm in Room 178 at the Day's Inn; can you be here in a hour?)

"Please get me off" emails (Hey, baby, I've got a big hard one for you. Can you handle my 10-incher? Call me now!)

"I'm a cop or clueless or both" emails (Do you offer BBBJ, multiple shots and can I bring a buddy?)

and so on....

My advice-- be pleasant, business-like and think about the impression you're making.

After all-- your first letter is like a first interview. Make it count!

My contribution to National Security....

2008-02-22T08:19:00.003-05:00

I told you I was a patriot!!

Have a great weekend-- I'll be busy hiding the weenie!

Puritanism at Playboy: Pitying the Girls Next Door

2008-02-19T08:26:00.023-05:00

What happens when you shack up with the oldest playboy in America?

Apparently, not much.

For a year now I've been indulging in a guilty boob-tube pleasure... setting my TIVO for The Girls Next Door, the reality-based account of Hugh Hefner and his three platinum "girlfriends" Holly, Bridget and Kendra. They're delightfully oblivious to the actual real world, as they order room service, shop for designer g-strings and buckle up in the Playboy jet for jaunts to Monte Carlo.

On the surface, it's simply ducky. But as I've dipped my toe in the Playboy pool over the past few months, a sad little trend has emerged as an undercurrent in the girls' daily lives.

Chastity.

The youngest, 22-year-old Kendra, clearly feels her hormones kicking in; she's the breast-flashing, skirt-flipping tease on almost any occasion where there are attractive men present. In a recent episode, she railed at the girls' 9PM curfew. Bridget, the most demure of the group, would fit in at the local PTA. Hef's main squeeze, the ambitious Holly, does share the king's bed... but in flannel PJs and with a bowl of popcorn.

A blind man couldn't miss the irony. Hooked up with the man who practically invented the sexual revolution and the closest these bunnies get to satisfaction is their Rabbit. (See battery-operated boyfriend.)

What's a MILF to think? That LA's finest surgical enhancements, pricey sex-kitten duds and peroxide do not a sex life make.

So to the "girls" and Grandpa, I say, "It's your cage, welcome to it."

To my own decidedly less glamorous but genuine "let's go" sex-style, I say "Hallelujah!"

Because you know what they say. There's no business like "go" business!

If only it had been Walgreens.....

2008-02-13T07:11:00.006-05:00

Have you noticed that the more exclamation marks someone uses, the more they appear to be writing directly from the Loony Bin? This proposal, apparently from a very excited individual, came in my email yesterday.

I was wondering if you were available tonight? I love watching a woman smoke! It really turns me on! I am very serious about seeing you! You look SO hot in your eros-miami ad!! Are you still available tonight? Again, I am very, very, very serious about seeing you TONIGHT!!!

Do you smoke in real life? If so, what brand? If you don't mind, could you show up smoking Virginia Slims 120's when you come to see me? That is a major fantasy for me!

I want to have a really good time! I will be back in Miami about every 3-4 weeks and I would love to have someone like you that I could see while I am here!

I have tried to find someone, but no-one is willing to do what I want...so...here's what I want to do! Could you meet me at the CVS on 88th Street in Kendall (I'll give you the address and directions if you are sure you want to see me)...dress very HOT and SEXY (really high heels and a very sexy dress)...and then follow me back to my hotel after we have gone shopping!

Here's what I can offer you!!!! I can pay you $450 cash...give you a $700 laptop...and take you on a shopping spree at CVS (you can buy mp3 player, tv, or whatever you want up to $300) and then back at my hotel you order champagne, beer and etc. from Room Service ($100).

Are you interested? If so, I will give you my phone number and we can hook up tonight!!!

Damn, it's tempting. A girl could score a lot of Crest on a gig like that.

Back in the saddle (again!)

2008-02-12T09:34:00.000-05:00

Woo-hoo and Yippee-oh-cayay!

Bounced back through stormy skies last night to finally float peacefully down in Ft Lauderdale, and boy, am I ready to play. Nothing like a little enforced chastity to get your girl going.

Indulge me, will you?

You have my number (in more ways than one!)

Round 'em up, head 'em out!

2008-02-06T11:51:00.001-05:00

It's the Tabu Two-Step... yep, I'm rounding up all my conservative duds and heading out to Small Town, Texas tomorrow....

So, please. If you see your little vixen in the airport or on the buffet line with two white-haired folks between now and Tuesday, smile a secret smile to yourself. But Mom--er, I mean MUM's the word.

I'll be leaving my naughty girl side in Florida for the duration.

I'll be thinking of you!

kisses,

Tabu

The key(word) to my lair... win it if you dare!

2008-01-29T20:53:00.000-05:00

Like any good Internet vixen, I love to track my blog hits. Yesterday I had visitors blowing hot and cold-- apparently someone likes me in Dubai-- and Finland. (brr)

But I have to confess that I've never paid that much attention to the keywords people use to search for me.

So for your amusement, here are today's search terms that have recently lead people to Tabu.... Behind Closed Doors. Pretty interesting, eh, Grasshopper?

Guess which are my personal favorites and win a special Tabu treat (to be revealed ONLY to the winner!) Use the comment feature to take your shot.

Good luck and may the Force be in me!

3	7.69%	tabu escort
3	7.69%	discovertabu
2	5.13%	thigh high boots chicago
2	5.13%	3 mistresses and a boy toy
2	5.13%	sex diary
2	5.13%	ivy league dominatrix
2	5.13%	maylin and stefano
1	2.56%	tabu thigh
1	2.56%	tabu's sexy abdoman
1	2.56%	tabu sexy girl
1	2.56%	www.discovertabu.com
1	2.56%	my sex diary
1	2.56%	double lives cheating
1	2.56%	secret behind the name tabu perfume
1	2.56%	tabu milf
1	2.56%	naughty roleplay father
1	2.56%	swinger diary
1	2.56%	lipstick blow jobs
1	2.56%	tabu sex
1	2.56%	allie4u@bellsouth.net
1	2.56%	tabu's sex life
1	2.56%	tabu in big
1	2.56%	thigh boots boy
1	2.56%	tabu without panty
1	2.56%	tabu feet show
1	2.56%	tabu sexy

Coupling Up: the Dynamics of Hubby, Wife and Me.

2008-01-28T19:49:00.001-05:00

About once a month or so, I get a call to meet with a couple.

I'm ready to slip right into my stilettos: my website offers a special rate for them ($525/hr; exactly 1.5 times my ordinary rate for an individual) and I candidly state that I enjoy both men and women. (And anyone who reads my blogs about swinging knows that I'm more than bi-flexible.)

But when it comes to actually booking and seeing a couple... well, I could get laid in a convent more easily.

Something always goes a little wacko when they call. First of all, 99% of the time, it's the husband, and he's either 1) conspiratorially planning a "seductive surprise" for his uninterested and unsuspecting Vanilla Wife, or 2) he's oozing pretension and assuring me that I should overlook my screening requirements so I can meet his Trophy Wife, who's 33, a 40DD nymphomaniac and a former Playboy bunny.

Sigh. In the first instance, why is it my job to clue Mr. Horny Toad in that his conservative lady will not only NOT appreciate his thoughtfulness in procuring a hooker for them-- she may very well take a really big walk. With half his wallet and all of the house.

To Mr. Trophy Wife, I want to say,"This is freakin' South Florida, dude! You can't swing a cat without hitting a bleached blond beach bunny with 40 double D's. And if your wife is so hot, (whose existence I doubt) why not introduce her to the local talent here at a swing club? I'm sure you'd have them lined up."

Everyone needs a hobby, I suppose, (mine's stamp collecting), but I just wish these guys would take up golf.

Then I could spend more of my time licking. Meow.

Taking GFE one G too far!

2008-01-23T13:39:00.000-05:00

Lately some of my fellows seem conveniently confused about the concept of GFE. I don't think it's that hard: They pass screening, present a tidy white envelope, and get a beautiful, gracious, sexy Tabu catering to their every naughty desire... smiling all the while.

Of course they'd like to have me for their real girlfriend. And of course, they'd like to dispense with the envelope. After a session or two, the manuevering begins to get me "off the clock."

Then there are my Match.com boys. They never pony up at all-- but try to entice me into providing those same delicious services without me noticing that the rent isn't getting paid.

Here's an email I recently received from one of these charmers... and my reply. (Note: Because he was busy sending this love-note out to hundreds of escorts, he couldn't even be bothered to put my name in the salutation. Or notice that I'm already IN Florida. Geesh.)

Hello, Pretty Woman!

I just wanted to tell you that you take my breath away. I'm sure you hear that alot in your business, but I mean it.

I'm a biomedical engineer in _____, Florida, and have my own business too. I just had to contact you as ever since I've seen your face (especially eyes) I know we have some kind of special connection. I don't know if you're married or anything. But, if you're not, and ever in Florida, please send me an email and I would be honored to take you out for a lovely dinner and walk along one of our wonderful beaches. I think we could end up becoming great friends - and that's something very special in the world today.

I don't know anything about your industry (except you're beautiful!) but if you would just like a new friend, I know there's just something about you that is wonderful.

I attached a pic of myself if you're interested in being friends (I've lost some weight since!)

Luv,

Tony

I'm sorry, but this seemingly innocuous letter really ticked your little vixen off. I don't believe a word of it-- or his professed innocence about the way escorts work. What I do know is that there may be some lonely working girl out there who falls for this line of bull, and gives it up for a while, just to have a "boyfriend." Even if he is a slimey conniver.

So given my feelings, I feel I really took it easy on him... and even gave his "innocence" the benefit of the doubt.

Dear Tony,

I feel that special connection, too! And for $350/hr, I'd love to explore it with you!

Let me know when you'll be in Miami!

purring,

Tabu

What a surprise. I never heard back.

So you've decided to hire an escort....

2008-01-21T10:54:00.000-05:00

Since my Monday morning blog was accidently deleted by your groggy girlfriend here, I'll link you to a handy-dandy guide to hired-escort heaven.... and yes, you're very welcome. Caution: don't watch while drinking coffee unless you like choking with laughter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id49Q-qOYXI&feature=related

till tomorrow,

T

God loves Football....

2008-01-19T08:28:00.000-05:00

God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?"

Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans."

God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat at his left hand.

Then God turns to Brett Favre and says, "What do you believe?"

Brett says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life.
I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields."

God is greatly moved by Brett's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat at his right hand.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?"

Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat. "

My Sex Diary: Wow, what a weekend!

2008-01-16T09:03:00.000-05:00

MMMM. Spreading my legs on Friday night for a sexy Frenchman and his hotter-then-Thai food Vietnamese girl.... just testing to see if I could tell the difference between his tongue and hers.

Saturday-- hit the swing club to debut the new sheer dress that cupped my ass SO invitingly...and spun around the stripper pole once or twice for good measure.

My lithe and beautiful friend from Maine smiled all night long-- I sat back and gave her a thumbs-up as she conquered the room.

Monday night-- well, it was Tabu to the rescue as a lonely friend from CA needed a sweet and tasty treat to make his evening complete.

Umm. I love my sexy life.

If you'd like to be part of it, check out my website for best way to get on my calendar.

I'm breathing a little faster already.

The Ultimate Hybrid

2008-01-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

I fell into a gender cliche the other day-- headfirst, I might add. Upon seeing an extremely well-built fellow, big and broad-shouldered, I remarked, "Wow, now that's a man."

It's a natural reaction... but how true?

That same week, I was proudly lifting a 50 lb box when a woman irritated me by warning me against it. "You'll hurt yourself with that, get a man to do it," she admonished.

Maybe it's simply context. I don't like my strength being minimized by virtue of my gender. Likewise, the object of my admiration, Mr Muscles, may not like being stereotyped as a big lug.

The fact is, we all start out female. Whether we grow a Mr. Happy or not is purely an afterthought of our chromosomes. So there must be something about women that makes good raw material for everyone. However, that universal truth failed to console me years ago.

When I was little, I wished desperately to be a boy. Even now, I think being a man must be delightful-- having that sexy meat to swing around. But I've gown fond of the eternal and internal mysteries of pink, as well.

In the end, I've come to believe that we're all a big happy mess of everything. That's the only way I can account for my men friends who cry at the movies, my bodybuilder buds with clits, and everyone in between.

Long ago, Nature must have realized something we're still discovering. So when I look at myself in the mirror-- strong and feminine-- I smile. My little engine, like yours, purrs along as one of evolution's first hybrids.

As long as it runs, I can't complain.

"Her breasts heaved

2008-01-02T10:21:00.001-05:00

from the confines of the creamy blue dress, its satin a sweet prison for her milky orbs..."

Wouldn't I make a good romance novelist?

Since several of you wanted to see the new dress I was O'ing over last month, here's a view for you. I poured myself into it and took it out on the town for New Year's Eve (more on THAT escapade later. ) I simply loved channeling my inner Rita (Hayworth) all night long.

Blue is the new black!

Whether its a dress, a toy, or a wonderful gentleman caller, I'll use any method I can to fulfill my bad-girl destiny-- and encourage all my friends to join in.

As we begin 2008, who wants to join me in that delectable resolution? On the road to sexual self-expression, there are no stop signs, just curves! So buckle me up, baby. It's going to be a fabulous year.

Here's to popping your cork!

2007-12-31T08:44:00.001-05:00

Well, my darling boys and girls, it's that special evening when we all have permission to pop our cork.

Whether you'll be snug at home with your loved ones or out on the town, I'll be thinking of you.

This year has blessed me with the generosity of wonderful friends, the love of an incredible SO, the soul-enriching rewards of hard work and the knowledge that my world is as close to perfect as it can possibly be.

Thank you, all. May your new year take you wherever you want to go. The only thing I ask is to be part of it-- in body or in spirit.

Bless you, and ....

Happy New Year.

A flaming sword: Truth, lies and double lives.

2007-12-29T16:21:00.000-05:00

This week on TER, a hobbyist posted a rather repulsive question that's been haunting me like a bad song ever since. (I'm reproducing it here verbatim.)

How many woman live a double life? I've been a hobbiest for about 15 years and meet alot of wonderful ladies and not so wonderful. once in a while I get to know some of them as we talk before or after our session and they start to tell me that their boyfreinds dont know what they do or they have a regular job during the day. thats why they dont show their face. I got to admitte that turns me on a woman has some poor smuck at home thinking his woman is faithful to him or at their job she some teacher or lawer,admin assitant, any way I would love to here from some ladies and what kind of lies they tell thier spouse or freinds.

Wow. I couldn't wait to reply:

It's distasteful enough that many women have to lie to their loved ones about what they do. But to ask for sordid details about it-- for your own sexual titillation-- well, that's a pretty low source of amusement.

Lives can be ruined by lies and by truth. That so many of us have to balance on that tightrope isn't sexy. It's sad.

Several other folks pointed out to Mr. Sensitivity that men often live a double life as well... and the lies they tell their wives and family are hardly a sexy topic.

That's true enough, but let's be honest. The men who occasionally dabble in the hobby may have to account for their time and money with a lie or two... or three, depending on the level of their involvement. But lead a double life? That seems rather grand for the Ohio pharmacist who tickles his fancy at the annual convention in Toledo.

Providers, on the other hand, routinely juggle flaming swords. Law enforcement, psychos and the sexual whims of strangers go up in one throw; ruinous exposure to our family and friends comes down in another; and all the while, the floor tilts under the pressure of our own internal voice, chanting "What if? Then what? What kind of woman are you?"

A double life is almost necessarily a life in conflict. For our clients, I believe, the central conflict is hiding their true sexual nature under the veneer of monogamy. What their wives can't (or won't) give them-- variety, intimacy, excitement-- they find with us. While it's clearly a choice they are willing to make, I doubt there are too many men who really relish the subterfuge involved in seeing their ATF.

For the women who become providers, the conflict lurks under the veneer of our accommodating nature. We're wired to please. So it's a sweet moment to see that poor, needy soul achieve his moment of brilliance in our arms--- until the reality of the cold cash makes its equally compelling appearance.

Are we givers-- or takers? Our love is bought and paid for.... and I believe there exists many a fine provider who secretly loathes herself for accepting any payment other than gratitude. And to compound that ambivalence by half-truths and the emotional distance that secrecy imposes... well, there are many women who find it an unacceptable divide.

I don't live in that morass-- most of the time. In my evolution from a sexy girl to a sexy woman, then a swinger, then an escort, the joy and value of my sexuality has been drummed into me by sheer numbers. I'm thrilled to provide a thrill. And I've never been ashamed of being compensated for it.

But do I want to openly claim it as my birthright-- and with it, the scorn of society? Perhaps no more than my clients want to be labeled as tricks or johns. The unfortunate reality is that even in puritanical America, customers are readily forgiven. Providers are not.

Am I making a case for hookers as heroes? No. Am I making a case for cheating, lies, or bad faith between men and women? No again. But what I am making the case for is the recognition of what drives all of us: the need to be seen, be heard and achieve a sense of accomplishment and worth.

That white-hot sword drives a hard bargain. It's up to us whether it's worth it.

36-24-36, Hut! I was a happy little fan till....

2007-12-27T09:55:00.001-05:00

This morning, the highly resistible (as opposed to irresistible) Bill Parcells showed up on the local news amid speculation that he'll be joining the Dolphins front office.

Well, thank God. Not that he's joining the local down-on-their-luck boys, but that he's NOT going to be Coach. Being their Coach would mean a whole new era of forced participation in the Parcellsization of the media.

I've already lived through the "Tuna's" ignominious reign in New England. Then he ham-handed my original hometown team, the Cowboys. And now-- it seems I can't get away from him.

From the moment he shows up, even veteran sportscasters lose their normal equanimity. His bluster defeats rational thought. And when a things don't go the Tuna's way, well, watch out.

Is he an indisputably excellent coach? Yes. Is he an indisputably obnoxious man? Yes again. Can he help the hapless Dolphins regain their balance? I hope so.

Is he a welcome addition to Tabu's world (which does include enjoying men in tight white pants?)

I think you've already figured that one out.

Of course, I'm always a "ho".....

2007-12-16T19:56:00.002-05:00

but sometimes I'm a Ho-Ho-Ho!

So today I'm here to declare joy to my own little world-- the world of swingers, hobbyists, my UPS man, Tom Brady, Bear Grylls and Matt Damon. (All of whom I'd like to unwrap under the tree.)

Yup, here in my Hollywood, everyone's getting in the holiday spirit-- and into my panties, I might add. Saturday night I sashayed down the street dressed in red... and from the looks I got from the fellows driving by, it seemed clear that Christmas doesn't come just once a year!

Kissing under the mistletoe, orgies under the tree.... I love the holiday traditions! Spice them up with Tabu twist, of course, and the results are naughty and nice. Mmmm....let me dip my tongue in a pool of creamy eggnog and let it slowly roll down onto my breasts. Sometimes calories just don't count!

Milk and cookies for Santa? Gee, I don't know. There's barely enough for me, the reindeer and all the elves. Of course, I have very discriminating taste in elves.

It just goes to show that in 2007, the holiday spirit still reigns. And even if the Dow is sagging, my favorite cocks are still standing strong. So join me in celebrating a not-so-silent night.... and may you have many of your own!

And the Oscar goes to...

2007-12-12T07:56:00.000-05:00

OK, my last blog asked the question-- "Why don't fellows repeat when you have a great session?"

Tokai presented an interesting answer and one, I confess, I hadn't thought of... even though I suppose it's very obvious to the hobbyist. A really good provider makes the gent feel as though it's been great for her... even if it's actually been less than stellar. That's her job. So, he asks, how can a gent tell the difference between genuine arousal and pleasure and a Meryl Streep-worthy performance?

It's a conundrum. But if you want to look at it from another point of view, forget the provider. The flip side is how we've made the gentleman feel. Though I'm no Ph.d in sex, I've been around this phenomenon a few times myself... and I think I can tell when a raging hard-on, star-struck gaze and breathless thanks are the result of genuine chemistry. There are sessions and there are extraordinary encounters.

I believe the extraordinary encounters - the 10/10s - deserve the chance to be repeated.

So here's my challenge, if you care to take it. If you've had a mind-blowing experience with me-- or any lady-- take a chance and see her again. Should either of you expect the same to-Nirvana-and-back experience? Why put pressure on yourselves? The chemistry that kicked your endorphins into high gear will very likely still be there--- and so will the chance to create another delicious memory.

I love my job. And when my most memorable encounters turn into the opportunity to create an even deeper level of pleasure and connection... well, that's simply the best.

And as Christmas approaches, I think this hard-lusting vixen and her friends deserve the best. Don't you?

Love 'em and leave 'em?

2007-12-11T08:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, a hobbyist brought up an interesting question. When you have a fabulous experience with a provider-- one that transcends normal pay-to-play titillation-- do you repeat with the lady or flee, in fear that you'll develop too much emotional attachment?

I've had several clients with whom I've had totally rocking, over-the-top, mind-blowing experiences. As I said goodbye to them, still panting, I could hardly wait until they returned.

It's a frustrating mystery to me why some never came back.

I'm not the type who usually has guys "fall in love" with me-- I'm sexy and giving, but it's clear that I'm not available for anything more. So I don't think an untoward emotional attachment explains it.

When you're paying, presumably, for a mind-blowing time, why wouldn't you want to repeat? Some of my 10/10 reviews came from just such sessions--- but even those hobbyists haven't always become regulars.

My escort girlfriends and I have talked about this phenomenon many times-- so I know I'm not alone.

Boys-- if we REALLY rock your world, reward us with repeat visits! You wouldn't want us to cry ourselves to sleep!

The Sexiest Spot in Hollywood... Were you there?

2007-12-05T09:24:00.000-05:00

OK, boys and girls, please raise your hand for this morning's Hottie Roll-Call. Only those in attendance at last night's TER Meet and Greet may respond.

The boys first. Organizers and hosts extraordinaire Haya and Sofla? Yes, I see Haya, waving weakly from a plump bed pillow.... you deserve your rest for all the work you put in, darling. And Sofla, one of my personal ATFs, already springing into action this morning.... thank you for your delightful and oh-so-delectable presence.

Swimtreker, who accompanied Boca's hottest new babe, Sabrina... welcome to the class! Keystone, I see you smiling at the memory of my decolletage... and another west coast boy, Wilco, hope you enjoyed our chat. TrueBrit, you're a charming addition to this side of the pond... and feisty Bob, your humor spins a wicked web. Tredence, I haven't forgotten your shy smile... and Chivas, I like to save you for last. Yum.

And the girls... what a bevy of booties! I mean beauties, of course... although there were booties, boobies and mile-high legs everywhere I looked.

The MILF contingent came out in all its glory... Jessie, Summer and my special partner -in-crime, Allie... say hello, you gorgeous ladies. I'm proud to be among your ranks.

New York's lovely Laney, what a petite cutie pie you are! The longest legs prize went to newcomer Courtesan Jess. Good Golly Miss Molly, I saw you bring your A-game... and Toni, whenever there's sexy fun to be had, you're in the middle of it. The west coast ladies weren't to be outdone.... thank you making the trek, Kristen and Ellyse!

Kisses, giggles and phone numbers made the rounds... and the only one missing was Sly, our revered Moderator. We missed you, Mr. AWOL-- so you had better make the next one!

So from this other hot spot in Hollywood, Tabu's Lair, I want to say "Well Done!" to our Party Central crew and everyone who made the Hard Rock the place to be last night.

You all rock.

Red Lipstick

2007-12-02T13:01:00.001-05:00

I love my luscious red lips. Years ago, when I tried to keep my lipstick in place through kisses, sips of champagne and blow jobs, I was one frustrated diva.

Then one day I noticed a swinger friend of mine whose lips were always perfectly berry-stained, no matter what her horny little mouth had gotten her into.

Well, inquiring lips needed to know. "Oh," she generously explained, "I have this special lipstick called LipSense. Once it's on, it's on."

That day went down in Tabu history. And from then on, my own pout found the perfect orangey-red that suited my auburn hair and ivory complexion. And when I've glossed them up, even I want to stick a dick in them.

So what it is about red, shiny lips that make me-- and most of the hornsters I know-- want to come closer?

Desmond Morris speculated in The Naked Ape that we're genetically coded by evolution. Moist, deep-colored lips on the mouth, he contended, was a strong instinctive reminder of the lips down below. So when the female of the species (and that would be me) wants to attract the opposite sex, a moist slash of deep pink or red serves as a "Hey, you!" to just the right boys.

Now, the current fashion calls for pale lips and a more heavily accentuated eye... so as not to put too much color on the face, I suppose. But those girls look dead to me. So I'll stick with what's working for me... and for those who do end up putting something in my hungry little mouth.

In my case, red stands for "Go!" But then, you knew that, didn't you?